Even After All these Years, My Body still Tells a Story of Childhood Abuse
I invest a lot of money into healing my body. In 2021 I invested over US$10,000 in acupuncture and karsai nei tsang sessions (womb/yoni healing massages) and I am so glad I did.
I mean who would not want to do a yoni and womb massage weekly and unblock any blockages there?
What I've learned is that when it comes to healing work, whatever work you do, you get better results when you do it consistently.
And when it comes to body work (somatic healing), the nervous system responds well to consistent work on a weekly basis.
To me, integrating the body in my healing journey has helped me shift so much so fast.
Also Sis Pumla, my acupuncturist, does an awesome tongue diagnosis where she can literally see your body, emotional and mental story on your tongue.
Anyway during one session we got to talking about the story my tongue was telling about my lungs, my heart and my mother wound.
At first I wanted to argue about the mother wound but halfway through my second sentence - I just looked at sis Pumla and said: "It's a lot. My entire healing journey has been because of this relationship and memories just keep coming."
But sis Pumla was gentle and the acupuncture was awesome and she told me she sensed no anger towards my mom in me.
It's true. I just felt deep sadness about the past and the abuse I suffered as a child and it is okay to feel this. The karsai nei tsang helped a lot with that.
Speaking of - the karsai nei tsang was incredible - that's where we really got to the crux of my two main emotions - sadness and worry.
I still carry sadness about never being good enough for my mom (even now).
Sadness about the way my mom's whole family treated me and I have done lesson 18 meditations in the #MoneyMagic course on this to just integrate all that.
And I worry.
I worried, not for me, ironically, sis Pumla is soo intuitive and was able to ask me questions that showed me that I worried about those I love, a lot, a whole lot. My body told the truth.
Even after all these years my body keeps telling a story of childhood abuse, which is okay because the abuse I endured was daily and relentless for 17 years of my life, so healing from that is a process.
The first time my acupuncturist in Sri Lanka met me, she asked me if I had endured abuse as a child, teen or adult.
I was like...what?
And she was like - there are lines on your tummy that indicate that you've spent years trying to protect yourself and shield yourself from danger.
The body never lies.
But thank Divinity for resources, tools, trauma coaches and healers that help us.
And thank Divinity that I have done enough healing of my finances to be able to pay for all these healers and coaches their asking prices.
