All tagged thai retreat
When I started tantra yoga, I'd only done vinyasa yoga and ashtanga yoga and was focused on being in the poses and looking awesome as I do them.
I'd force myself into poses and now I have to challenge myself to relax in a pose and feel into my body, which changed my life.
But not before I almost lost my mind crying everyday when I was getting my yoga teaching certificate in Goa, India and then had all sorts of ancestral and deep childhood memories surface.
Day 5 was my favourite day of the retreat - it was the day of hiking, sweat lodges and full moon fire ceremonies...it was magic.
It was also the day I got to teach my work and some healing things I learned from my mother.
We started the day with tantra yoga, meditation and breakfast as usual.
Our inner child feels loyal to our mothers's struggles and honours our mothers through our vows of invisibility and self sabotage.
All this shows up as guilt and worthiness issues in our finances and our ability to celebrate ourselves.
How can we allow ourselves to be happy and thriving when our mothers have sacrificed so much for us?
I was that playground kid that no one ever wanted on their team because they were dead alive and just plain weird.
On this day all these desires of wanting to fit in came up: these desires to be less me, less weird, less scary, less talking to unseen things.
The focus for this day was about hard work and the ancestral connection we have to "hard work" as Black women and this need to prove that we are not lazy and are hardworking.
We can't just relax and be, we need to do and do and prove and prove and that holds us back financially.
The last 6 weeks have been challenging because things didn't go the way I want and it left me feeling completely stuck.
Here's how I got unstuck and was able to turn everything around.
