The Painful Experience that Taught me to Trust Myself and Turned me into a Nomad
I was in my early twenties when a man made me quit my job and life in London to live in Trinidad with him (we knew each other and had dated for a while when we both lived in Florida, USA). At the time South Africans needed visas for Trinidad (we no longer do) and he organized all that, so I thought this is real and I trusted him.
A few hours before boarding the flight to Tobago (we had planned a romantic getaway in Tobago before heading to his house in Trinidad), the guy dumped me. I was at Heathrow Airport, jobless, no apartment, no furniture, just a plane ticket and 400 pounds to my name...
I had never been to Trinidad or Tobago before.
I called an older friend (gorgeous Black woman with dreads) in Nassau, The Bahamas and she told me: wipe your tears, get on the flight, find a way to live in the new country, see this man as he is and stop throwing pearls to swine.
I did as told - cried all the way from London to the Caribbean. Booked myself a hostel in Tobago, went to duty free and bought myself a bottle of whisky.
I checked into the hostel, drank the whisky alone and slept. I woke up the next day to find that I had booked a room on the most gorgeous beach and I had a killer view.
I decided to stay and find a way to live and that decision changed my life.
Every time I have to make difficult relationship choices, I remember that advice all the time - stop throwing pearls to swine
I still have no clue why this man organized my visa and then dumped me like that.
But here's what did happen when I landed in Tobago, got drunk and woke up to find that I had somehow booked myself into paradise:
I met a bunch of nomads from Spain, Germany and Holland and explored Tobago with them.
We had some epic adventures, including getting stuck in the rainforest after dark.
I called my dad (my poor father) and told him a partial truth (omitted the guy from the story) and asked for financial help and he sent me some money to help me pay for my living expenses for a few weeks.
I chilled on the beach a lot and responded to The Simmons School of Management to say I would be interested in applying to their MBA program. They had been asking me to apply but up until that point, I was focused on a man (I was 23, so no judgment).
After my third day in Tobago. I hopped on a call and did the entrance interview and decided to go do my MBA in the USA because I didn't have a man to distract me.
A week later, I Ieft Tobago and moved to Trinidad as planned.
I sent an email to all my friends all over the world explaining what happened and asked if anyone knew any people in Trinidad that they could connect me to because I needed a way to make money.
A friend in Kenya knew an artist in Trinidad and she connected us. He was having an exhibition the day after I arrived in Trini, so I offered to go help him set up.
I was then invited to the opening of the exhibition. Whilst I was there, I met a film Director who then invited me to his film premiere the next day.
That was the beginning of some cool ish and my love affair with Trinidad - I met the top artists and the lead actress in the film, and to this day she and I are good friends.
I went from being broke to being on MTV Caribbean and on Talk Shows in Trinidad, I was invited to march against an iron smelter, ended up on TV talking about environmentalism and next thing I was chilling with the top politicians and celebrities in the country.
I still know most of them and get to say I knew some of these people before they became who they are.
I started performing spoken word poetry and I partied like I have never partied, danced and drank and I met part of myself in Trinidad. I barely slept then - I moved in with a new friend and we had a blast.
I kept manifesting awesomeness and got over the guy in a few days.
Basically me and Trinidad are cool. That country is my manifesting haven.
To this day, I land in Trini and I get gifted things. It’s wild.
Part of that is because I have a shady past life in Trinidad - I have seen it and I think my soul just taps into that free wheeler dealer past and things happen
Some countries are like that for me by touching on the soil, my ish just flows and I manifest easily. Sri Lanka is like that for me.
I believe the guy's mission was to get me to Trinidad so my life could take a different direction because without that move, I wouldn't be where I am now or it would have taken me longer to get here.
I would’ve probably stayed in London, which is a heavy city for me. I cant manifest much in London, but until he suggested Trinidad, London seemed like the only option for me.
When I moved to the US to do my MBA, I sent this man a thank you email. I never got a response back but I am so grateful for the way things unfolded because this experience also taught me to trust myself and to travel on a whim.
I don't think I would be the traveler I am without this experience.
