All in Changing Our Feelings About Money

How the Collective Victim Shadow Archetype Affects Our Finances

How the Collective Victim Shadow Archetype Affects Our Finances

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

I can see how my history of oppression as a South African has led to a collective victim shadow in my maternal family and how this victim shadow has affected our relationship with money:

  • We feel powerless with money - we never feel like we can master money. It feels like financial events just happen to us. My maternal family has this belief that money is something mystical that only the lucky few can ever master it.

  • We're always operating from a sense of blame - it's never our fault, our financial mishaps are witchcraft or someone’s fault. I spent years blaming my childhood for my debt. I’d convince myself that my relationship with money would’ve been great if I had a better childhood or if I'd been loved better as a child.

Why We Financially Sabotage

Why We Financially Sabotage

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

Have you ever had moments in your life when your finances were just going well?

Where you’re just doing well with money?

Even if it’s for a week or a month or a few years?

Everything was just going fine, you were making the money you wanted, you were saving money, things were working according to plan and it looked like you were gonna be just fine.

And then suddenly, BOOM, something happens in your life and from that moment, everything just falls apart.

Out of the blue, there's an emergency, kids need things, cars break down, you’re dipping into your savings and going from saving to creating debt.

Sometimes this is a once off event that causes everything to fall apart for a long time and it just feels like we’re willfully sabotaging.

At other times, our financial sabotage happens at a specific time of the year, around a specific person or when we’re in a specific city or country.

Your Energy Is Your Currency

Your Energy Is Your Currency

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money, Self care and Setting boundaries

A few months ago, my friend Wanda, the founder of the Black Women Travel Podcast, said something interesting to me, “We can mirror a successful person and take the exact actions that they take, but that doesn't mean that we're going to get the same results that they get.”

I've been thinking about this lately, because I spent the first 28 years of my life doing what I was told would make me successful and it didn’t work for me.

I went to university, got a finance degree, got an MBA, studied entrepreneurship, wrote the 30 page business plan, got an A in the business planning class, got a board of directors and my business still failed.

In fact, I was a mess from running that business. I was stressed and had daily panic attacks.

When the business failed, I tried to get an investment banking job with all my qualifications and still couldn’t get a foot in the door.

When I decided to follow my passion and be a writer (ironically the failed business was a writing and spoken word business), I was told that it would be easier to get a publishing deal if I was a successful blogger.

So I did what all smart people do - I followed all the successful bloggers who wrote about being a successful blogger and copied all they told me to do.

I read tons of blog posts, I did exactly what the top bloggers said I should do - I studied Search Engine Optimization, signed up for blogging courses, learned how to write the right eye catching headlines, but I still couldn’t get the same results.

I’d talk about the same things they did, I even tried to write the same way they wrote and it just didn’t work.

I couldn’t grow my blog traffic beyond a certain point. I was stuck.

I felt cursed!

It took me a while to realize that people respond to our energy not our actions.

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