The Fear Of Having Money In The Bank
When people ask me for tips and tricks about changing their finances I get confused on how best to help them.
The assumption that people make is that if they just get a quick tip or trick about money, their relationship with money will change and they'll have money in the bank.
Sometimes we don't want to have money, because we're scared of money and we just don't know it
We're in a relationship with money, similar to a romantic relationship.
And just like a romantic relationship, our past experience with our lover affects our behavior today.
Our lovers trains us on what to expect from them.
So if for years we would ask our lover to show up when we needed them and they always disappointed us, it would be normal for us to have trust issues with that lover.
We'll stop asking them to show up for us or just learn to live with whatever little attention they've trained us to accept.
In fact, we sometimes think we may lose that lover if we demand different treatment.
Or we leave that relationship and look for another lover.
It's the same with money. If money was a lover, what would your relationship look like?
How has money shown up for you in your relationship?
If we've been consistently disappointed by money when we needed money to show up or money kept showing up as 25% of what we wanted, we won't trust money to show up for us.
This lack of trust will affect our relationship money.
We may actually fear money and fear how money could hurt us by disappointing us.
In this case we've been trained in our relationship with money not to trust money or except less than what we want or deserve.
So even when we want X amount, we always get realistic and ask for (X - 75%) because we've been in this relationship forever, and have learned what to expect.
In romantic relationships we can leave and look for greener pastures.
We can protect ourselves from selfish and emotionally distant lovers by leaving and moving on.
What happens if you can't leave and we're stuck in a relationship whether or not we want it?
And we're forced to deal with that lover every day?
Frustration, disappointment, resentment, demotivation, blame, anxiety and anger starts to set in.
What happens to any relationship over run by such emotions?
If it were a lover and you felt all these awful emotions every time you were together with a lover how would that relationship look like?
Wouldn't you be triggered every time you dealt with this lover?
And yet most us are in a relationship with money and feel exactly this way.
Unlike a romantic relationship, we can't give ultimatums or go to couples therapy; we have to deal with money everyday and be triggered everyday.
Eventually we learn to live with the emotions and triggers and we don't even notice them.
We become fully trained on financial expectations and even believe that we're doing just fine and that this is the best we can do.
But just like in every dysfunctional relationship there will be cracks every so often to make us question this truth.
How do we change our relationship with money?
We heal - we heal the past wounds around money so we're no longer triggered and we start to change our financial expectation set point.
This is why we focus on childhood wounds, ancestral wounds, mother and father wounds in the #MoneyMagic course.
Then we heal our relationship with spirit of money meditations in the course.
This is daily work - it's physical, emotional and practical.
We understand that a romantic relationship is daily work but why do we think a relationship with money is different?
And just like we bring past baggage into romantic relationships, we also bring past baggage into our relationship with money, which affects our current relationship with money so we do daily work because we have been carrying this baggage for 25+ years (or whatever your age is).
This is also why the Money Magic course is a life time course.
There are NO tips and tricks; just like tips and tricks only work for a short time in a romantic relationship and don't build a lasting relationship, it's the same with our relationship with money.
Ultimately we want to build a real relationship with money and grow in that relationship.
Click on the video below to learn more about this topic
How would you describe your relationship with money?
Share your insights in the comments section below.
