How our Ancestral Loyalty to Our Family Behavioral Patterns Impact our Finances
Growing up I was taught to never share anything that was in my zone of genius with people outside the family because they would bewitch me, try to take my gifts and kill me.
I was taught to hide any cool idea I had or any cool thing I could do out of fear. I was taught to ask only family to help me implement new things because they wouldn't try to get me killed.
And here I am giving a chilli recipe to Jane and helping her grow a business.
Part of me was scared that people in the village would know that I have this ability to create new recipes and to help people grow their businesses from scratch.
I can imagine how unsafe it feels for my mom to see me expand. First - I fix her house, turn it into a retreat space and now I do this!
Vows of invisibility, vows of loyalty & how they hold us back
When I was growing up I saw this mindset of invisibility and only wanting to give opportunities to family a lot.
I saw my mom and uncle come up with awesome business ideas, and out of fear they’d fight with family members and force them to get involved in their business ventures and they’d hire family because they didn't want others to know about the idea or how the business was run etc.
There would be so many fights because some family members weren’t doing the work and were refusing to come onboard or were doing half jobs and in the end the businesses would fail.
My mom and uncle were the ones with the vision and they expected everyone else to have the same vision and if they didn't, they forced the vision onto them so everyone could grow together because it felt safer to go through this drama with family than to work with outsiders.
What that meant is that their brilliance and awesomeness was the best kept secret and no one could buy into the business idea.
They were loyal to the family but to grow a concept, often requires multiple skills and most times people in the family didn't see the vision or they wanted to be the leader or to be validated by other family members.
People also tend to prize ideas more than implementation . When I was in business school, my business school lecturer told us that ideas are a dime a dozen. The important thing is to implement and launch the idea, that's what makes an idea valuable and the best ideas have various inputs and people powering them.
And yet we keep our ideas soo secret, they don't get to breathe and evolve.
This was the case in my family because of the vow of loyalty.
The vow of loyalty to family, fed the vow of invisibility and made it stronger
I see this a lot even with people who are friends - they network in the same circles, only tell each other about opportunities and basically form cliques and leave no room for collaboration.
They don't connect with people from other countries and cultures and don't hire them or brainstorm new ideas with them.
Why?
This is an energy of contraction. Expansion energy is literally that - we need to be willing to expand in all areas of our lives, even the networks we have.
Our friends and cliques know the things they know and even know the same people we know; sometimes to do something new, we need people who see things differently and have a new set of eyes.
Everything that is happening with Jane right now is because she is willing to expand and meet new people and literally allow them into her kitchen. She is willing to be visible.
If you’re tired of shrinking yourself and making yourself invisible to make people feel comfortable around you and you’re feeling ready to create a consistent stream of income of R40,000/US$2,500 or more a month, then check out and register for the #MoneyMagic course at the link below.
