All in Changing Our Feelings About Money

The Fear Of Having Money In The Bank

The Fear Of Having Money In The Bank

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

Sometimes we don't want to have money, because we're scared of money and we just don't know it.

We're in a relationship with money, similar to a romantic relationship.

And just like a romantic relationship, our past experience with our lover affects our behavior today.

Our lovers trains us on what to expect from them.

So if for years we would ask our lover to show up when we needed them and they always disappointed us, it would be normal for us to have trust issues with that lover.

We'll stop asking them to show up for us or just learn to live with whatever little attention they've trained us to accept.

In fact, we sometimes think we may lose that lover if we demand different treatment.

Or we leave that relationship and look for another lover.

How To Release The Fear, Shame & Drama Of Asking For Money Or A Raise

How To Release The Fear, Shame & Drama Of Asking For Money Or A Raise

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

How do you feel about asking for money in any situation?

- Asking clients to pay you?

- Asking for a raise?

- Asking friends to pay you what they owe you?

What goes through your head when you have to ask for money, even if it’s money owed to you?

Asking for money or increasing my prices and letting people know about the price increase was very stressful for me.

I used to believe that asking for money made me look like a beggar and made people pity me; I used to think people would look at me and think, “oh shame, she’s broke, that’s why she is asking for her money.”

And because I didn’t want the pity (even when I was broke), I’d wait, pray and hope that people would remember to pay me my money or tip me for work done.

How To Process And Release Financial Fear

How To Process And Release Financial Fear

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

A lot of times when I was struggling financially, I'd give up my personal power in the present moment because I was so busy running away from my feelings about money in the present moment and denying my fear.

I was obsessed with being in a “high vibe” state and being constantly grateful that I denied my present state of being.

I bought into the belief that if I wanted to change my finances, I had to constantly monitor my thoughts and think of positive things, I couldn’t think or debt, as soon as I thought about my debt, I had to quickly change my thoughts and focus on income and making more money.

The crazy thing was that the thought of having money and making more money, freaked me out because of my deep money trauma.

When I did get tired of constantly having to be positive and having to visualize great success, I’d give myself permission to focus on my debt so I could develop a debt repayment plan.

But focusing on my debt would get me thinking about all the bad things that could happen in the future and would leave me frozen with fear.

I'd think – A month from now, I'm not going to be able to eat or pay rent because I don't have enough time to make this much money.

How Financial Trauma Affects Our Finances

How Financial Trauma Affects Our Finances

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

At least 80% of my financial life and my relationship with money has been influenced by events in my teen years.

When I was 13, my mom’s fancy car (she had 2 cars) got repossessed because she had an outstanding bill of R2000/ US$150 that she couldn’t pay.

She was only left with 1 installment and she couldn’t pay it.

This was the first time I realized that my mother was running out of money.

It was also the first time I became aware that money could run out and that felt strange to me.

My mom had spent most of her life making sure that we never wanted for anything, so up until this point, I didn’t know that a person could run out of money.

The trauma of watching my mom lose her car has stayed with me and has influenced the way I buy cars.

I’ve owned several cars in several different countries and have always bought all my cars cash.

I paid cash for all my cars, even when I was drowning in debt.

It’s never crossed my mind to buy a car any other way, in fact, the thought of having a car installment sends me into a state of panic.

Why Healing Financial Trauma Is The Key To Manifesting Your Financial Vision

Why Healing Financial Trauma Is The Key To Manifesting Your Financial Vision

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

Ray Dalio once said: “By and large, life will give you what you deserve and it doesn’t give a damn what you like. So it’s your responsibility to connect what you want with what you need to do to get it, and then do those things.”

I think this quote is onto something but life doesn’t give you what you deserve, it gives you what you think you deserve.

This is important to understand – you deserve everything life has to offer. That’s a fact. We all do.

The problem is we don’t believe this and we have created so many stories about what we need to do or be to deserve the things we want or have.

And nowhere is this apparent then with money and when we’re working on manifesting our financial vision.

When Having Money Causes Discomfort Or Makes Us Feel Uncomfortable

When Having Money Causes Discomfort Or Makes Us Feel Uncomfortable

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

I used to have panic attacks at the mere thought of handling money or having money in my bank account. I couldn’t rest until I’d spent the money or gotten rid of it in some way.

Some people are visibly uncomfortable with having money, whilst others seem excited at the prospect of having money, so their discomfort looks like excitement - they spend money as fast as it comes in. They’ll even say things like - I love money, I love spending money, I love having money.

It isn’t excitement that makes them spend money so recklessly, it’s the discomfort over having money in their bank account or wallet.

Most people also confuse nervousness with excitement, because they have the same physiological response. I see this often with clients and students - they claim to be excited at the prospect of having or making more money, when really they are just nervousness.

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